October 29, 2008 – 1:38 pm
Read the fucking manual, dumbass.
The end.
On another note, I haven’t really been keeping up with this blogging thing. It’s work, when I have so much else going on. For instance, we have this big show on Saturday that we’ve been prepping for. Wait, did I say have? I meant HAD, because the wedding got canceled because the groom is a moron. This really bums me out, I was really looking forward to it. We had a great time last Saturday (after a shitty first run). In the end, though, I think this works out best for everyone. Half the band would not have been able to make a rehersal prior to the show. I know that would have stabbed us in the foot. (Which makes you walk gimpy. That’s the reference. We’d be gimpy.)
I’m getting tired of this dating shit, too. Really, I am. I date a lot. A lot of different girls. I’ve even flown to another state for one (which was a maddeningly awkward time). It’s really starting to look bleak. I just can’t seem to find a girl that matches what I want. Or if I do, I don’t match what she wants. Eh. With the change of weather, I’m feeling a bit run down about everything.
No, this isn’t a segue into pitching for the other team, either. I like boobs too much.
I also feel like I’m losing touch with people again. I don’t seem to talk to people anymore that I used to talk to a lot. It’s probably just a cyclic thing, but it’s annoying. Then again, I think about how much everyone’s lives have change: marriage, kids, careers. Yet, I’m still pretty much in the same place. My life feels like it’s on hold and I’m not sure what will change that. I need to get out of what I’m doing. I just keep plugging away at this shit and it never seems to get done. Nothing changes. It’s still homework, studying, researching, writing. I’m fed up with it. I don’t like living a static life. I need to get out there and explore.
This is what scares me about being done, though: will I become just another worker? Slaving away for a wage to afford my house, my car, my food? I don’t particularly like the idea of working my ass off for two weeks of vacation a year. WTF is with that? Two weeks… Of 52. The fuck, you say? How is that living? You aren’t living, you’re toiling away merely to survive.
Also, I don’t like the idea that what I do can be used to kill people. I’ve really begun to realize that I shouldn’t have gotten into this. Sure, the research is nifty, but it’s nothing spectacular. It’s not going to make the world a better place. It’ll just make it.. what? Safer? For who? Will it solve poverty? Bring health care to people? No, it’ll be able to map out a contested region so warmongers know where to strike their missles. Is it a more humane solution to just carpet bombing an area? I guess. But, I see it as treating the symptoms, not the cause. Why are people bombing each other in the first place?
I also think that’s a major issue with the world, in general. (Wee, generalizations!) We look at effects and how to cope with them, while not addressing the cause.
Plus, our monetary system is fucking messed up. Really, it’s all based on magically making money appear out of thin air. And it’s collapsing. The system is doomed to failure. It’s actually built into it. The centralized bank has done nothing but create incredible amounts of debt. “The American Way”, my ass. A hundred years ago we were debt free because we didn’t have a centralized bank. Look at us now. We’re screwed.
I’m tired. I’m fed up. I don’t want to do this shit anymore. But, where will I go? What will I do? Do you really fucking think Canada is better? They’re just as screwed up as we are, just in different ways, but it’s still a mess. And it’s not like change will actually happen if/when Obama becomes president. You all know this, right? Nothing will change. Sure, we might get out of Iraq. But we don’t really have an exit strategy for that shit. We’ll pull out and make a mess on Iraq’s back side (ew, gross).
So, when you ask me if I’m upset and if there’s something bothering me.. Well, yes there fucking is. There’s so much shit and greed and fear that nothing will ever get better. People can’t trust each other. Why? Why can’t they? Because they’re a different skin tone. Beacuse they believe in different invisible sky wizards. Because they have differing ideas and ideas scare people because they don’t know how to handle ones that are different then theirs.
It’s fucked up. It won’t get better because the people that influence and shape the minds of those that follow force their fucked up traditions and ideas on them and then the next generation is just as fucked up or worse than the previous.
In closing, I’d like to ask, “What the hell is an aluminum falcon?”
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